...good times with Kong kong.

The passing of Mama was very difficult for Kong kong. Our entire family was very worried about him and wondered how he would react to losing his wife of over 50 years. The months leading up to her death, Kong kong was very depressed and oftentimes he seemed lost and very confused. It was difficult to witness.

My Kong kong is a very distinguished gentleman. He has always been impeccably groomed and proper. He never had a hair out of place. Mama used to get so fed up with him because he would literally spends hours in the bathroom getting ready. Mama said he would comb his hair until it was just right. I have rarely seen him ruffled or even with a five o'clock shadow.

That was until Mama became sick.

To see him not change out of his pajamas, or go unshaven for days, and to have his hair sticking up from his head was a major sign of his preoccupation and distress. I had to gently remind him that he should shower every few days. This was so unlike him.

Kong kong is also a very reticent man. He would not say much. Much of his communication was through head nods and pointing. Its not that he couldn't talk or didn't like to, I just think that he is naturally a quiet man. Whenever I saw him with old friends he would come alive and he would be laughing and cracking jokes. But with us, he was usually very quiet. Most of our communications consisted of me asking him questions and him nodding or softly grunting. Every once in awhile we were treated to the outgoing Kong kong.

The weekend we had Mama's celebration of life was very difficult for everyone. We went to the hospital to view Mama when we first arrived. The next day, Kong kong asked if he could go back again and see Mama. My Mom, sisters and I were very hesitant about that and weren't sure it that was such a good idea. I think we were worried that he would want to keep going back and that he wouldn't be able to let her go. I turned to Frank for his advice. He simply said that we shouldn't keep Kong kong for seeing her, that he probably needed to see that she was okay. We listened to Frank, and boy, am I glad that we did. Kong kong was very calm (compared to when he first saw her, according to Ting). He cried just a little and then told Mama that she could leave now, that he was going to be fine. He truly seemed to pull himself out of his depression and said his final goodbye to Mama. He was at peace.

That night we were all together again, eating and sharing stories. My Mom was about to head out to the airport to pick up her brother, Uncle Ron, from Toronto. Before she left she gave Kong kong one of the drinks that we were all having. I told her that it had alcohol in it. She said that was fine.

Well, Kong kong took a sip and said it was very tasty. We didn't think anything of it until sometime later, Kong kong turned to me and asked, "Tanya...was there any wine in this?"

I was shocked, I looked around at my sisters and husband for help. Didn't he know? Didn't Mom tell him? We all just stared wide-eyed at each other. I turned back to Kong kong, "Ummmm...I think it had just a little bit of alcohol, Kong kong," I said apologetically.

And then Kong kong did something that I will never forget. I'll let you watch.

He was so cute and funny and so hammered!

Frank started freaking out, because my Mom was due back any minute with her brother, Kong kong's son. He was sure we were all going to get yelled at. I told him not to worry, but the more he worried, the more I got nervous. Oh damn! We were going to be in so much trouble. Mom was going to kill us. Uncle Ron, someone we see maybe once every 10 years, is going to be horrified. Then Joel, Rachel's husband stated getting all worried, because he was the one making the drinks. Ruth-less (that's my Mom's nickname) was going to murder us! It wasn't fair! Mom was the one that actually gave him the drink. Entrapment!!!!

In the end, it was all anti-climatic. My Mom walked in, I hurried to explain the situation, and all she said was, "Good."

She was actually really happy to see Kong kong a little tipsy. He was laughing and talking with everyone. He even got up and danced! I'm not even kidding.

Kong kong was giving dance pointers!

I debated on whether or not to post these videos of Kong kong, but this is how I want to remember him. He was so fantastic that weekend. We were all worried about him and to see him that way made our hearts glow.

We don't need to worry about Kong kong. He is still the epitome of class, but he honoured us with a little bit of his humour that night. Also, I now know for a fact that Kong kong also gets the "Asian Flush" just like me!

Mama can rest in peace knowing that Kong kong is doing just fine.

....Staaaaaaayyyyyyy!

...oh the places we've camped!

Here are the three places we've camped at so far this Summer.

Fort Ebey, Whidby Island in Washington State.

Green Lake, near 70 Mile up in the BC Interior.

20 Mile Bay, on Harrison Lake near Mission BC.

Thinking about camping Carp Lake up past Prince George, somewhere in the Okanagan and going back to 20 Mile Bay. Anybody want to join us?

The Other Side of Frank...

My husband is a very logical, practical man. He is the one that you call if you want something done. He is very conscious of making promises and keeping them. He is also the most generous person I know. If someone needs help, he is there. If there is a problem, he will do his utmost to fix it. He is also very honest with everyone. He will tell you what he thinks, even if it hurts your feelings. And darn it! He is usually right.

He is also a pretty wicked cook, the things he can do with eggs...mmmmmmmm!

and he's a terrific Dad.

Frank always says that he is a simple man, with simple wants and desires. However, I think he is a multi-faceted man, with many sides to his personality.

Here is some examples of Frank's other sides...not many people know this Frank.

All the following clips were taken by Ting. For some reason, she is always there to capture these "Frank moments". I think she jinxes him.

The story about this clip is that Uncle Joel was teaching Aislinn how to rope and he came up and said that she needed something to catch. Frank volunteered right away. It is a two part series. The first movie is Frank explaining why he was doing what he was about to do. Something about being a good role model for your kids. I think he was just being his usual "Awesome Dad" self. The second movie is the action shot.

The third video is one where Frank is going to skip his "World Famous Skipping Rock". I'll let him explain.

The last video is probably my favorite. It never ceases to amuse me.

Anyways, if you know Frank, you know that these video proofs of his sillier side are true gems. He is a great guy and we are lucky to know him.

...Yeah! Yeah! It's the Dad Life!!

He he! Love this new YouTube video.

June and July 2010

Hello Friends and Family,

So...many things have happened in the last couple weeks. I would have written about them sooner, but my Macbook Pro decided to up and die on me. I didn't even have a warning. One evening...in fact the evening I made my last post, the one about the layout I did to show my Mama how I use photoshop to make scrapbook pages...the next morning..."THE BLACK SCREEN OF DEATH!!!" as it is known, officially.

My computer wouldn't even turn on let alone boot up. I took it to a specialized Apple repair store and the tech-guy basically told me to buy a new computer. He figures that my CPU died and to replace it was ridiculously expensive. Why would a computer company make replacement parts sooooooo expensive? Now I need to get a new laptop, and I know for sure it won't be an Apple. Damn rip-off!!!

So, I am posting this on the home desktop a.k.a the kid's computer. And I hate it. The keyboard is all stiff and hard to type with. I don't have access to all my photos and photoshop elements. Basically, I've been relegated to fighting for screen time with my 12 and 6 year old. I'm on right now because we shipped the oldest off to an overnight basketball camp down in the States for 5 days. Which, may I say...lucky kid! I totally wish I was in that camp! I didn't get to do an overnight bball camp until SuperCamp in Grade 11. Ahhhhh.....the memories...the pain...I can't wait to hear her whisper those sweet words..."Mom!!! I can't walk up the stairs! I hurt soooooooooooooo much!!!"

Anyways, other than my computer woes....

My Mama also passed away very suddenly last month. She was fighting, first brain cancer, then lung cancer and finally bone cancer, and she lost her fight.

Mama, Kong kong (my grandfather) and my Mom were staying for us for a month while Mama underwent radiation therapy in Vancouver. My Mom was here to take her Mom to the clinic and to help me take care of my grandparents while they were down here. I know I wouldn't have been able to do it without her. My Mom very lovingly made her parents their favorite meals and we both helped them with their physical needs.

It was emotionally and physically draining. And it was so damn fast! My Mama was over in Toronto visiting relatives (I flew with her and Kong kong) just before Christmas. Starting in February, Mama started to complain of very bad headaches. They wouldn't go away. In March she flew home to Prince George. She was in horrible pain because the headaches were getting worse and worse. In two weeks, she was down at my place to go see a Chinese Accupuncturist. I can't even describe how fast she was deteriorating. I knew something was seriously wrong. I thought brain tumor. Their time with us was tough as her pain wasn't going away and we couldn't get a doctor to agree to see her so we didn't know what was going on. Finally they decided to go back to Prince George. Very quickly, her doctor informed her that she had brain cancer. Two days later they were back with us to start Radiation Therapy. After more tests and scans, we were told that she also had really bad lung cancer, Stage 4 (last stage), and finally bone cancer.

I have trouble thinking about it. Mama seemed to give up. She wouldn't talk much, she couldn't walk without support, and she admitted that she thought it was hopeless, but she was very angry at the same time. She felt betrayed by her body. And she was. Kong kong was in a very fragile state as well. He's 93 years old and his partner only had months to live. They would spend almost 20 hours a day, sometime more! in bed. I really tried to connect with Mama when she was here, but she didn't want to talk much. Frank was amazing. He was so loving and respectful and helpful. He would just hold me and talk me through my sadness. I tried to be the same way for my Mom. It was really hard on her. Mama and my Mom didn't have the best relationship, but watching my Mom shop and prepare their meals for them, I could see that she loved her parents very, very much. Whatever their relationship, I know she was happy that she had so much time with them in the end. Chinese talk about being dutiful, my Mom did her part.

Radiation finished on a Tuesday, everyone flew home that afternoon, and on Thursday morning my sister called me up saying that Mama just had a heart attack, she was eventually revived but they didn't think she would make it to the hospital. We immediately started packing to go up to Prince George, even before we finished, we had another call, Mama had passed away.

We arrived in PG that evening and everyone gathered. We spent the weekend talking and laughing and crying and on Monday morning we said goodbye to Mama one last time.

June Sek Kiam Tseng January 26, 1926 - June 17, 2010

It is still very hard to talk about. Mama was a very big part of our lives. My kids are so lucky to have had such a wonderful relationship with her. She will be greatly missed.

On a much lighter note...

The kids are out of school now. We have been camping twice already and plan to go again this weekend.

We travelled to Whidby Island in WA for our first camping trip. We lucked out and found a spot in Ft. Ebey State Park. It was gorgeous! And boy do those Forest Rangers in the States know how to keep a campground.

Ft. Ebey was a WWII naval battery that was intended to protect the Pacific Northwest from Japanese invasion. The battery was still there and it was a lot of fun, and a little creepy to explore the underground site. Mackendra made me take her there in the dark with just one little, weak flashlight. She was fearless. I was freaked out! I cut the exploration short because I was all weirded out and thought an axe murderer was going to get us. Mackendra put me to shame.

Being a naval base, we were treated with beautiful views of the Pacific and the kids and Tuck played on the beach.

The water was cold though. Very cold. Frank bet the kids $50 each that they wouldn't go in and dunk underwater to the count of 5.

Frank was a little lighter in the wallet that evening.

We loved the campground and can't wait to go back with bikes. They have miles and miles of bike trails on that island.

Our second camp trip was just as fun. We arranged to meet my two sister and their assorted men folk and kids halfway between Prince George and Vancouver, in Green Lake near 70Mile House.

There were 6 adults, and 5 kids and countless laughter. We ate gourmet food, swam in more cold water and played shoeless soccer (sorry about that guys...bad idea). We even played Canasta *yeah!*

It was the first time camping for Ting's kids. Actually Logan went when she was 1, but the other two had no idea what they were missing out on. It was awesome. A little cold at times, rainy other times, but overall a blast.

Ting is coming down this weekend to join us for another weekend of camping. Yeah!

In other news, this summer we are not shipping our kids up to my Mom and Dad's place the whole summer. This year, they are only going for 2 weeks. This means, of course, that we had to find activities for them. Frank did all the planning. Aislinn is in 3 bball camps, and 2 French camps. Mackendra is in a soccer camp, 2 recreational activities camps, and 2 French camps. We also hope to fit in a long family camping trip somewhere along the line, maybe down to California, or a bike/camping trip in the Okanagan. Whew!

In other news...

Aislinn will probably kill me for this, but it is too funny not to post.

Aislinn's nickname is "Ace". We love it and coaches at camp like it and she likes it too. Well, we have just recently changed her nickname to "C Plus". You see, Aislinn didn't do so well on her report card this last semester. So...mean parents that we are, we didn't try to help her or give her a pep talk or anything...nope...we started calling her "C Plus". She doesn't like that nickname.

I will try and post something sooner.

Lots of love.