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Some old photos of my sweet baby girl.
I know we all like to write and blog about how awesome our kids are and how fantastic our relationships are and how we love our families and "omg!!!! I'm so great! and my kids are great! and everything is great!"
But we all know we are a bunch of big, fat liars. Most of the time, I really would like to strangle my kids, and don't even ask me about my husband! The name Lorena Bobbitt comes to mind, strangely. Now, I can handle feeling frustrated and angry with the husband...I picked him. I choose this other human being...I knew what I was getting into. And to be fair, he is also absolutely awesome...most of the time. But my kids....my kids...my mother-f'ing kids! I carried you little parasites in my womb for 9 months. I protected you, I nourished you, I loved you, and changed your poopy diapers! I kissed your scratches, I defended you, and I sacrificed for you! I promised to support you for the next 18 years of your life. Now, all I ask from you...please do the dishes once a week. Vacuum the carpet before your boyfriend comes over and sees what pigs we actually are. Take this package out to the car for me. No, you don't have to do it all right now, you have all day to do it.
It doesn't get done. So now your Dad and I have to be "assholes" and discipline you.
So, one day of punishment. Okay...two days. You're still arguing? Make it a week. What did you say? You're seriously throwing things at us...and threatening us? Done...two weeks. Do you want to keep going?
Cue the hysterics and tears. Oh...tearing up your bedroom and screaming is a fantastic response. Congratulations, you now have to clean up your bedroom too. Idiot.
And this is how my oldest child came to be suspended from basketball for 2 weeks. And she is still arguing the next morning! And blaming us. Oh...and begging me to drive her to school: not going to happen.
An old picture, but one that conveys Ace's current feelings.
So...the only good thing about this all too common occurrence at our house, is that my other child, Mack, really sucks up to us. You can get her to do anything at these times. "Sure Mom, I can do that for you...is there anything else you would like me to do for you?" This of course sends the older one out of her mind with rage. Mack just shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
Mack, the Wise Opportunist
Ace has always been like this. Its like a red mist crosses over her reasoning and she literally can't control herself...she becomes The Hulk!!! (I just changed the title of this post.) She just can't stop. We will literally be telling her to stop, in the middle of her tirade, to just shut up and stop saying things that will dig her a deeper hole...and she doesn't. Incredible! She keeps going and going and going...until finally, it gets so bad...and then it sinks in...and you can see it happen. The moment it finally hits her..."crap, I'm not going to win this." Then the true tears start.
There it is.
When Ace was about 5, she got in trouble for something and was sent to her room. She was supposed to stay there until she calmed down and then she could ask to come out and talk about what happened. This was our usual approach to parenting and discipline. Kids hate being sent away from you...so this is usually a great tactic. Well, this time, Ace went into one of her rages and totally freaked out. She proceeded to rip all her books of her bookshelf, tear all her clothes out of her drawers, throw all her toys around the room, dismantle her bed (pull off all the sheets and blankets and throw the mattress on the floor), and basically ruin her entire room. She then lay on the floor in front of her door and repeatedly kick the door while screaming.
Our response was simple...her Dad and I took the bedroom door off the hinges. We then took huge black garbage bags and took all the books and pictures and toys out of the room. We also selected 1 week's worth of clothes and then the rest of her clothes joined the book, pictures and toys in other garbage bags. Ace lost her sheets and her pillow. She room was completely bare. She had no toys, no books, no pillow, no door, and almost no clothes....for 1 month. We left her her mattress and a blanket.
You'd think she would learn from this experience. Well...she didn't. Every couple months or so, we have to discipline her in some sort of fashion. Nowadays, it mostly takes the form of taking away her cell phone. Last night, however, we had to get "all drastic" again.
The sad part is, we start off very reasonable. Example...Ace, you can't be on your phone all night. From now on, at 10 o'clock you have to stop using it and it has to be out of your room plugged in on the table. Ok, you obviously can't abide by those rules...now it's 9 o'clock. Why are you shouting at us? Stop freaking out! Ok...give the phone here...you lose if for 1 week. Ok, I can't take your verbal abuse anymore...now its 2 weeks.
And it continues...
She cries and asks us why we do this to her. She screams that she hates us and can't wait to move away. My heart squeezes and I waver. Then my husband tells me to be strong, that this will ensure she doesn't become one of those juvenile delinquents with parents that are so afraid of their own kids. I harden my heart, and watch as she writhes on the floor, sobbing.
I refuse to let my kids be "those kids"!!!! I am not going to become "that parent"!!!!
She is going to have a lot of explaining to do the next two weeks. To her coach, to her teammates, and to the media, this time. Hopefully she will take responsibility and tell the truth. She is suspended for two weeks because she couldn't take 5 minutes to do the dishes.
Stupid.
