...has this ever happened to you?

I have a story...sit back, put your feet up (but keep your fingers on the scroll button), relax and listen...

I think is was two years ago, I may be wrong, usually am (ask Frank), we were on our way back from California? (ok, so the details of the story may be vague, but trust me, this is a good one), and we decided to stop at the outlet mall to do some last minute shopping before we arrived back in ohmylordhowcantheychargesomuchforthis?!? Canada. We had been driving for quite awhile and everyone was tired and sweaty, sick of being in the car, yet excited at the prospect of spending some money and getting some superawesome running shoes at the Nike Factory Outlet store. Well, that excitement lasted about 20 mins. My lovely 4 year old daughter (aka Mackendra) decided that the Nike Factory Outlet Store was boooorrriiiiinnnnnngggggg and she didn't want to be there. After hiding in the clothes (on the floor!) and following me and her dad around whilst moaning and whining and finally throwing a huge hissyfit in the middle of the shoe aisles, Frank had it. He grabbed her and took her outside. Thank you, Frank. He plunked her in the back of the car, cracked open the window (and no, it wasn't hot outside), locked the door and walked away. Don't panic...he didn't go far. He stood on the sidewalk, in clear view of the car and waited for us. I shopped on...blissfully unaware of the drama that was unfolding outside.

Not ten minutes after Frank had left, holding a crying child under his arm, did he come marching back in the store and say very firmly to me, "put it down, we're leaving." What? No! I'm not done spending money on shoes and other cute athletic gear. Why? Now I was the one whining and moaning. Frank just gave me his look, you know the one, the big, staring eyes, pursed lips, tight jaw, flared nostril look. Ok, ok...I'm coming. Aislinn!!!! Let's go, no, put it down, we're not buying anything, I know we promised, stop whining, comeon, now!!!! Now everyone was whining and moaning.

It turns out that Mackendra, sitting in the back of the car, had decided not to give up and let dad win. NO! Mackendra decided to up the ante...put me in the back of the car will you???? Well, how 'bout this? "HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!! Oh hi, can you go into the Nike store and get my Dad? Yes, he locked me in the back of the car and left me. Yes, a loooooooooong time ago." Uh huh...my dear daughter was hailing down fellow passing consumers and crying for help. Frank had already talked to one couple as they entered the store looking for him, telling them that everything was fine, that "no, she's ok, I'm here, I can see her, she'll be fine," all the while thinking to himself, "that little brat! And mind your own business!" Anyways, after the second couple that heeded the cry of a poor, abandoned, little girl locked in a car while he awful parents shopped at the outlet store for hours upon hours...Frank finally had it and proceeded to ruin the rest of his family's shopping pleasure.

Thanks Mackendra. Aislinn still talks about that day.

What have your children done to you to ruin your day?

Tanya

...a tornado hit it...

Shadup!

That's what I had to tell my little brother this morning as he came upstairs for our weekday morning commute to work together. This was in response to his snarky comment, "your house looks like a tornado hit it."

So, we had company Sunday night. Our lovely friends, The Cabuco's, came for dinner. Yummy sukiyaki! We even found this fabulous tabletop grill that allowed us to stuff our faces with "to-die-for" grilled beef, pork, fish and shrimp while partaking in the heavenly delicious-ness of the regular sukiyaki.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with sukiyaki, here is a picture.

Try not to drool on your keyboard. It is a Japanese dinner that consists of a whole bunch of raw meat and vegetable and noodles that are cooked at the table. And it is a favorite of ours.

Anyways, for this special occassion, the Konig/Johnson family embarked on a massive house-cleaning odyssey, as our house had not been properly cleaned for about 2 months. We vacuumed, we dusted, we did laundry, we threw out trash, we did dishes, we washed the floors, we cleaned window, we cleaned the toilet, we put toys away, did recycling, etc.....we even vacuumed the couch (scary!). Our house smelled and looked beautiful. We even installed a new faucet in our kitchen sink. It was lovely. And it lasted for 1 day.

This Wednesday, my grandparents are coming in from Prince George, they and I are flying to Toronto on Friday. This means we have to make some changes to accomodate their brief stay with us. Mainly, they will be sleeping in Aislinn's room. Which means the bunk bed is gone.

Picture this, but in red. No more!!!

It will be passed on to my sister's kids. In its place will be a brand new Ikea bed (which needed to be put together).

This also meant that Aislinn's room had to be "de-junkified". Man that kid collects a lot of crap! So, everything came out of her room, and it ended up in my living room. My previously, clean living room. We didn't finish our task last night, and this is what prompted my little brother to utter those heinous words this morning. I was not amused. Yes, my house looked like my girl's bedroom threwup all over it. But it will be taken care of tonight.

Mama and Kong kong will arrive to see a sparkling clean and well put together dwelling. Something that will make me proud. And they will sleep the sleep of innocents in their new bed and linens.

And I will tell Aislinn that if she ever thinks again about keeping 3 broken backpacks, schoolwork from 3 years ago, 6 balls, and clothes that haven't fit her since she was a size kids 8 in her bedroom that she will be disowned. Seriously!!!!

Frank calls it "packrat-itis" and he says that she gets it from me. Whatever.

Love Tanya

Family Photos

So, we have never done this as a family...this is something that is brand new for us. And it felt kinda weird. The kids loved it, but I don't know, it just felt awkward.

When I was a kid, I remember doing this just once with my own family. I was in grade 6 or so and I wore this very chic gray sweater dress. At least I thought it was very chic. But I was a grade 6'er living in Prince George, BC. What did I know? We all dressed up and headed to Sears for our one and only professional family photo shoot. The picture was before the 2 youngest in our family were born. The two siblings that were in the pictures with me, if I remember correctly had similar feelings to me. I think Ting had a really bad Afro/Perm haircut thing going on, and Rachel was just grumpy and not smiling at all in any of the pictures. I guess it wasn't very successful, because I have never seen any of those pictures in a frame or photo album. I also remember feeling just as weirded out then as I did this time. Who takes pictures like this? This isn't what we are like. And it is so hard to smile naturally. It just feels fake, plastered-on, not right! Oh, and my eyes are always squinty! Grrrrr....

Anyways, the good thing about this photoshoot was that it wasn't done in a stuffy Sears studio. The lovely Auria is a photography minor in university, and she went for a walk with us outside and then we constructed a studio at home with duct tape and a sheet.

So, here are some of the results:

Then we dressed up in our "fancy" clothes and took some more formal pictures, and these are the ones that made me all squirmy and feeling fake:



There was one picture that Frank really liked...it was of his girls.


Actually, this one is kinda cute.

But after holding my head just so, twisting my torso like this, lifting my chin, opening my eyes wider, and sucking in my gut, I needed to let loose a little.



The kids felt the same way...



When the dust cleared and the bright lights stopped blinding us, it turned out pretty good and I think we will end up seeing some of these pictures in frames, or at least on this blog.


Thanks for looking everyone. Hope you and yours have a great holiday season.

Love Tanya

A thought on raising kids...

Hello Friends and Family,

Frank and I have taken on coaching a U14 girls basktball team. The league that was supposed to be running this team really messed things up and as a result the team had to fold. Several parents of the players asked us if they could make things come together, would we still be willing to coach. We said "yes". And now, we have more games and practices and kids playing for us than we know what to do with.

The girls are silly, and enthusiatic and both Frank and I have not had much experience working with this age group. Frank has usually worked with boys, and much older boys at that. High school seniors usually. But we are loving it and the girls. Although, the constant chatter and high pitched squealing will have to be dealt with very soon. I just wish that they would talk as much when they are on the court. When they step on the court, they turn into a bunch of mute, sometimes, deaf kids. Very annoying.

What I have noticed is that we are having issues (you have to say it in that really snotty, british way "izzues") with kids showing up to all the practices. Our first "izzue" is that some kids are way overscheduled with other activities. "Little Suzie can't come to your practice today because she has tuba/drama/3 other basketball practices/soccer/forensics (look it up, not dead bodies, but debating)/flower arranging/jujitsu/Chinese lessons today." To which I say, "*@#!$## ", in my head but "Oh! OK? I guess," out loud. Parents!!! Stop overscheduling your kids. Let them be bored sometime. For goodness sakes! You will drive yourself crazy trying to get them to all those locations, not to mention having to take out a second mortgage to help pay for Little Suzie's deportment classes! Why are parents so scared of letting their kids have a spare moment during the day? I spent half my childhood being told to, "go outside for 4 hours and find something to do!" I turned out ok! ***my husband is shaking his head and my therapist is rubbing her hands together while nodding sagely in agreement*** (Disclaimer: I don't have a therapist, but I do have a husband!) Ha! I purposely don't schedule my kids on some days, just to see what they come up with and allow me to say one of my favorite sayings, "Only boring people get bored, Sweetie." I feel so smug when I say it.

But please...for the love of all that is holy! One or two activities at a time. People are not going to look at your family calendar and snort, "Hurumph! Look...only 3 days in which you must BE somewhere. Must be nice to have that much time on your hands." I just look at the poor frazzled Mom who hasn't had a shower in 2 days and is forcing her kids to eat reheated Kraft dinner, out of tuperware, in the car, on the way to that Tuba lesson, right after the soccer practice, and just before the Chinese lesson, and shake my head.

Our second "izzue" has to do with kids missing our practices because they are at home "studying". I had a little rant in an email to a friend which I will copy and post below...

I find it annoying that kids can't make it to practice because they have a test they need to study for, or a project that needs to get done. Our practices are only one and a half hours. Listen, I was taking a full science course load in college and we had 2 hour practices at least 3-4 times a week, game tape study at least once a week, sometimes twice if we had a league game during the week (which was a min. of 1 hour), and we had pre-game sessions which included physio or one-on-one training sessions with asst. coaches. Before games, we had team meals. If we didn't play at home, there was travel involved, usually a min. of 1 hour. Sometimes we had out of state travel which was overnight. I could easily say we had at least 20 hours of basketball a week. I still found time to study for Organic Chem exams and Calculus tests and write 15 page Qualitative Chem labs and read an English novel and write a 2000 word essay on it somewhere in between all that. I was also required to be in the Science labs a min. of 6 hours a week. I got straight "A's" while playing ball! I also know that Aislinn has caught up on all her work that she missed while away for 5 weeks. It involved getting up a hour earlier for school to do homework and staying after school for extra help. She is also playing on her TCYBA team and also takes part in all of our team activities. So, it can be done.

Parents are not doing there kids any favours by allowing them to miss events because of "homework". You think a college coach is going to accept that excuse? Ha! He has 20 other girls that are dying to make his team and won't miss a practice because they have a Math mid-term the next day. If you are forced to manage your schedule to get everything done and no excuses are accepted, funny things happen....like you get your work done! Efficiently. You stop texting your friends for 2 hours cumulatively. You don't watch "Wizards of Waverley Place". You don't sit on the computer checking out FaceBook. You study, practice, eat and sleep. At school you spend time with your friends, but you also get in the habit of finishing your work so you don't have homework.

GRRRRRRRRR......

I know these girls are only 13. I know that parents think that homework is very important. But I also know that if parents make things to easy for kids and give them excuses all the time, that they grow up to be unproductive, ineffiecient whiners who say "but! I didn't have time!!!" and "I had other things to do!!!" Yah, good one. Have fun having your 26 yr old kid still living at home trying to find the "perfect" job that allows them to have a "balanced" lifestyle.

How 'bout raising a kid that understands the value of scheduling their time and getting the job done? Who's thinking about paying the rent that month instead of how much beer she can buy for tonight's party, which by the way, is in your basement, and she's asking you for 25 bucks to buy that beer. Oh...and she's trying to figure out a way to ask you if her boyfriend can move in because he quit his job. Lovely.

And so...my point, after all my crazy ranting and complaining is...get your kids to my practice!

I am required to be there. No excuses! I can't just decide at the last moment that, "Ehhhh, I don't feel like going, I've got dishes to do, and oh yah! I need to get that report done for work tomorrow!" Nope. I'm there, so your little ones can be there too.

Is that way out of line? I know that many of you have been coaches or have volunteered your time for kids. Am I right in thinking that parents these days doing way, WAY too much for their kids? What are your thoughts?

Love Tanya

He makes nuclear weaponry look good...

Quick! Name this Dictator....

Ignore the fact that his glasses don't really contain lenses and his nuclear missile is a little crooked.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Yes!!! Its Kim Jong Il of NORTH Korea.

Here is another picture of him, from a few years ago.

I think, along with his nuclear technology, he also had his wily scientists working on an anti-aging potion that seems to be working very well...look...

He looks about 40 years younger. Amazing!!!

Ok, ok, I confess, this isn't actually a crazy NORTH Korean dictator...this is my little brother, Darren, at Halloween. But the similarity is uncanny, isn't it?

Ok, here's another quiz question...

Who is this nasty, creepy man? Mackendra named him, "Kid Killer". And I think it was pretty appropriate.

Here's another look...


Don't mind his "Fairy Dog". Kid Killer was one mean looking, scare-inducing nightmare of a monster. His mission the whole night was to scare kids into giving him their candy. The only problem is that noone got close enough to him so he could ask/scare it out of them. Kid Killer would stand on one side of the street and kids would cross the street to avoid him. He made a group of young girls scream hysterically and run away. That was almost as good as getting candy, but he failed in his mission.

Don't be jealous, but Kid Killer is taken. He's all mine. Once you get to know him, Kid Killer ain't that scary.

Ok, here's another one...

Who is this sad, sick looking child? Awwwww...she looks so sick. What is she doing out of the hospital??? Is it the swine flu?

Ohhhhhhh! Ok, maybe she's not sick...my goodness! What happened to your face, girl? Who did this to you?

Kim Jong Il, you say! Why that low down, nuclear warhead loving, squinty-eyed dictator. Yet another reason for the US to invade and ....what do you mean...the US doesn't care about WMD's? What about Iraq? But...I don't get it.

Anyways, why would Kim Jong Il do that to this sweet innocent child? And...

Oh! Uhhhhh...someone should tell her that her bum is hanging out. Awkward!

Ha ha...that is our lovely Auria. Can you imagine the response as she walked away from her table while at work in Earl's Halloween night.

Finally, can you name this unlikely couple?

Uh huh! It's a Tiny Geisha and KISS's half-sister that Gene Simmons never talked about! Congratulations!!! You win....ummm...well...I don't really have a prize. But, "Yah, you!"

Happy Halloween from our family to yours!

I'll give her everything she wants!

Mac: I'm missing Aislinn so so much!

Mom: Yah? You've been thinking about her alot?

Mac: Uh huh. I dream about her all the time.

Mom: Really?! Does that mean you'll be nice to her when she gets back?

Mac: Yah! I'll give her everything she wants!....Then she has to give it back.

She's an amphibian...

Mac: You know...my teacher is an amphibian.

Auntie Auria: She's what?

Mac: An amphibian, she doesn't eat food with feet.

Auntie Auria (thinking...): ...Oh! Sweetie, I think you mean she's....

Mom (grabbing Auntie Auria): Really?!? That is cool.

Mac: Yup!

***************

Mom (in an aside, explaining to Auntie Auria): That is just too cute to correct.

Auntie Auria (turning to Mac): You know...my little brother is an amphibian too.

The End.

My little China doll...

Mackendra had a Halloween party today. Oh my goodness, be still my beating' heart...she made a truly precious China doll. It took the talent of the beautiful Auria and myself to transform Mac-doodle into this Asian spectacle...


She was the hit of the party! We picked up the dress and sash at Value village for a pittance and with a little face paint, black hair spray, fake hair, and safety pins...viola....Moo shoo guy pan anyone???


And check out her little friends...


I love Halloween!

And can I say that Mac-a-roni totally rocks the black hair!

Until later....

Oh The Turkey!!! The Turkey!!!

Sorry...

That's borderline pornographic.

All I can say is that I did not enjoy this encounter. I was the victim here! It might look like I was the the instigator and the turkey was being molested, but truly, he had it coming! Asked for it in fact.


That turkey likes to pretend that he was all innocent and that I was the bad guy. But look at my face! Ewwwwwwwwww! I might be shoving my entire hand inside that bird, but I took no pleasure from it.

On the other hand....


OMG! That child should be removed from that situation.


And Auria! Auria! Contributing to the delinquency of a minor!

However, the final outcome was fan-freakin-tastic!!!! I can't promise that no poultry was harmed in the creation of this masterpiece, but it was totally worth it.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! And just the right temperature!

Mind you, we were not sure if this was possible this year. It was quite an inauspicious beginning...

Once upon a time, on the day before Thanksgiving dinner, two fair maidens went bravely to Stupidstore on a quest to find the perfect Turkey. After much consideration and contemplation, and discussion on the merits of "fresh" vs. "frozen" they bore home, on their shoulders, the chosen one! Due to the tough economic times, the cheaper, frozen choice prevailed. And here comes the near tragedy....one fair maiden doth asked the other...."Fair Auria, how longeth shall it taketh thine poultry to thaweth?" to this, the fair maiden doth replied, "Fair Tanya, it sayeth, on the backeth of yon package....5-6 hours, 'tis all." And with that, the fair maidens proceeded to prance and clap their hands and turn cartwheels and giggle with glee! Only 5-6 hours! "Wheeeeeeeee!" So, The Chosen one was stored in a place of honour in the sacred refridgerator. And the fair maidens retired for the night and slept the sleep of innocents, secure in the knowledge that the next day's plans were set.

The next morning, whence the fair maiden, Tanya, doth opened thine sacred refridgerator to see how the thaweth-ing had gone...."AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! Fair Auria!!!! Cometh and see-eth the birdeth...its....its...its still frozen-eth!!!!" *Cue hysterics and much hair pulling and wringing of hands* And now the evil is revealeth! "You ninnies! I knew it would still be frozen. Bwahahahahaha!!!" It was the the handsome, yet diabolical Count von Konig. With the tortured eyes of the two fair, yet distraught and disbelieving maidens on him, the malevolent Count von Konig revealeth his nefarious mistruths, "5-6 hours in a refridgerator didn't make sense to me. Are you sure that you were looking at the right column? Maybe you mixed up the thawing and the cooking times?" The fair maidens flipped that poor, icebound bird over and looked again. "AAAARRRGGGHHHH! You are evil Count von Konig! You knew all along!" And the tragedy of this story was shown...the fair Auria does not speaketh French, noone can blame her! We cannot find fault....the label read "Days/Jours" and she readeth "Hours". Jours....Hours....one can seeth how such an error could be made.



So, quick calculations ensued, rapid decisions were made and the arctic turkey took a bath.


A 3 hour bath in lukewarm water, followed by a brisk frolic "au naturel" in the sink of cold water...


*Gag...ewwww...I just threw up in my mouth a little*

And the day was saved and even the nefarious Count von Konig had to agree, the fair maidens had prevailed.


And the court rejoiced! Yahhhhh!!!! Woot! Woot!


And then they proceed to eat their faces off!



And then the Princess of the Universe declared...."now let's eat dessert!!!"


How did your Thanksgiving go? Did Fair Maidens or Evil Counts rule the day?

Love this picture...

This is my husband. He is truly an awesome Dad. He would do just about anything for his girls. I'm happy to say that he considers me one of his girls.

my oh my, its been a while hasn't it?

My dear friends and family,

I know it has been a while...okay...a long while, since I have posted anything. And don't get too excited because it has been a long, long day and I'm running on empty. But I decided to load some scrapbook pages I haven't shared with anyone. I will keep this short and sweet and try to make some pithy comments about each picture (if my brain doesn't fizzle out first that is).



I cheated and used a quick page for this one, so don't go thinking that I'm so creative and I have a ton of time on my hands. I didn't even take the pictures on this one. They were taken by the lovely and talented Auria. Hi Auria....love your work.

I can't remember if I posted this picture yet. This was my posse, back when I was in college. Long time ago. At least it seems like it to me. I totally miss these guys and wish they would drop a sista an email once in a while.


This one is one of my pictures. Ahhhh....viva la France! Someday I shall go back and sample your very expensive espressos and gorge on your Chocolat de pain again. Okay, my mouth just started watering. Mmmmmmmmm......

A couple more....


Just a picture I've been fooling around with, trying different things in Photoshop. It was taken several years ago on a trip to San Fran.


This last picture gets me really excited. Today, as I carpooled into work, there was snow on the very top of the mountains above Vancouver! I can't wait to go skiing again this year.

And....that's it folks. I'm done. I can barely keep my eyes open.

Love Tanya g'night