Hello everyone. From the title you can tell that we recently have had some unwelcomed guests (UWG) in our home.
It started quite innocently. We started hearing this faint scratching noise in the ceiling in our dining area.
UWG: scratch, scratch..... scratchscratchscratch.....*silence*
Tanya or Frank: "Did you hear that? What is that?"
UWG: scratch, scratch, SCRATCH!
Tanya or Frank: "I heard that! What the heck is it? Bang on the ceiling!" BANG BANG BANGBANGBANGBANG... "I think its gone."
UWG: scratch?...scratch?....SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH!
Tanya or Frank: BANG BANG BANG!!!!
UWG: *silence*
Frank: *pulling out the ladder and placing it in the bathroom to gain access to the trapdoor to the attic* "I'm going to go look up there.
Tanya: "Can I come?!.... Ewwwww! Its all dusty and gross up there. I'm staying here."
Frank: "I can't see anything. I'm coming down."
Kids: "Canisee? Canisee? Canisee?"
Frank and Tanya: "There's nothing up there. Fine, go look. I told you...nothing to see."
We left the ladder in the bathroom and left the trapdoor open. It was kinda weird having a hole in your bathroom ceiling.
UWG: Scratchscratchscratchscratch! SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH!!! *getting louder and more insistent.
Frank and Tanya: "okay that does it. Let's go get some traps!"
at Rona: which trap? what about poison? What are we dealing with? Mice? Its gotta be mice. "Here, Frank, buy these ridiculously expensive mouse traps that are much better than the old regular mouse traps that my Mom used back on the farm."
Frank: *back up in the attic* "Okay, done...now we wait."
THE NEXT MORNING....
Frank: "They're gone!"
Tanya: "What!?! What do you mean they're gone?"
Frank: "Our ridiculously expensive mousetraps are gone! I can't find them."
UWG: SCRATCHSCRATCHSCRATCHSCRATCH!!!!
Frank and Tanya: *$%#%#(@)*&$?!
Tanya: "OMG! Frank....I know what's up there. When I was drying off after my shower I heard some scratching and looked up into the trapdoor and sitting up there on a beam right beside that hole in our roof...(for ventilation) there was a freakin' squirrel sitting there!!!!!" "Yes I climbed up the ladder all naked and started screaming and banging to scare it away. It looked at me for a bit before it ran out that hole. This is what we have to do.....*whisper whisper whisper*
We had to whisper because the squirrel could have been listening.
Frank: *returning from Canadian Tire with our supplies* "Okay, let me get ready to do battle!"
Tanya: "you are such a dork"
Frank: "do you want to go fight the squirrel?"
Tanya: "its a SQUIRREL! Not a grizzly!"
Frank: "Whatever. Just hand me the chicken wire and the stapler. I'm going to seal off that hole." .... "AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! Its trying to get in! OH CRAP!!!!! I think its trying to bite me! Get that hockey stick and poke it....you bastard!!!!! Its mad! Really mad!"
Tanya: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *I tend to laugh at things when they are absolutely hilarious and I'm not really involved*
Frank: "stop laughing and help me...warn me if it comes back"
Tanya: "Oh sh*%!!! Its coming back! GETMEOUTTAHERE!"
Frank: "Thanks for your help....not....anyways, the hole is sealed up and that damn squirrel is pissed. I'm going to go outside on the roof and put some chicken wire up on the outside just to make sure.
Frank and kids: "that damn squirrel is crazy! It sits there and watches us and when we walk close it hisses and charges us. I need you to stand on a chair outside on the deck and warm me if it comes close while I'm on the roof. Yes...I have a hockey stick to hit it with if it comes close."
Tanya: "OMG!!!! Its coming!!! Its coming!!!! WATCH OUT!!!!"
Frank: "AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! *swinging his hockey stick wildly and running away*
Tanya: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY...
That crazy, pissed-off squirrel was running around our property attacking anyone that came close and trying to find a way back into the attic. At one point, it had pinned down Aislinn who had gone to the basement to get something. She was down there calling for help and wouldn't come out until Frank went and got her.
We managed to keep that squirrel out for 1 day.
They next day Frank saw her jump off the cedar tree by our front door, climb up our screen on our bay window and shimmy through a tiny crack. The kids and I could sit on our couch and watch as that crazy squirrel visited her 4 babies. They would look at us as we looked at them.
The next day...they were gone. No more scratching.
THE END
2 comments:
Ha ha ha! That's hilarious! I love the hockey gear. Reminded me of the time I made Darren and Frank come save me from the family of racoons! Ahhh! That's priceless!
lol! i remember when we were moving i was upstairs grabbing something and I heard the scratching too.... i started pounding on the ceiling right above the microwave....thought it was a mouse or something. But a crazy squirrel is much better. You Should of hired the Erika and me to dispose of the rodents....We are the best.
Darren
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