...good times with Kong kong.

The passing of Mama was very difficult for Kong kong. Our entire family was very worried about him and wondered how he would react to losing his wife of over 50 years. The months leading up to her death, Kong kong was very depressed and oftentimes he seemed lost and very confused. It was difficult to witness.

My Kong kong is a very distinguished gentleman. He has always been impeccably groomed and proper. He never had a hair out of place. Mama used to get so fed up with him because he would literally spends hours in the bathroom getting ready. Mama said he would comb his hair until it was just right. I have rarely seen him ruffled or even with a five o'clock shadow.

That was until Mama became sick.

To see him not change out of his pajamas, or go unshaven for days, and to have his hair sticking up from his head was a major sign of his preoccupation and distress. I had to gently remind him that he should shower every few days. This was so unlike him.

Kong kong is also a very reticent man. He would not say much. Much of his communication was through head nods and pointing. Its not that he couldn't talk or didn't like to, I just think that he is naturally a quiet man. Whenever I saw him with old friends he would come alive and he would be laughing and cracking jokes. But with us, he was usually very quiet. Most of our communications consisted of me asking him questions and him nodding or softly grunting. Every once in awhile we were treated to the outgoing Kong kong.

The weekend we had Mama's celebration of life was very difficult for everyone. We went to the hospital to view Mama when we first arrived. The next day, Kong kong asked if he could go back again and see Mama. My Mom, sisters and I were very hesitant about that and weren't sure it that was such a good idea. I think we were worried that he would want to keep going back and that he wouldn't be able to let her go. I turned to Frank for his advice. He simply said that we shouldn't keep Kong kong for seeing her, that he probably needed to see that she was okay. We listened to Frank, and boy, am I glad that we did. Kong kong was very calm (compared to when he first saw her, according to Ting). He cried just a little and then told Mama that she could leave now, that he was going to be fine. He truly seemed to pull himself out of his depression and said his final goodbye to Mama. He was at peace.

That night we were all together again, eating and sharing stories. My Mom was about to head out to the airport to pick up her brother, Uncle Ron, from Toronto. Before she left she gave Kong kong one of the drinks that we were all having. I told her that it had alcohol in it. She said that was fine.

Well, Kong kong took a sip and said it was very tasty. We didn't think anything of it until sometime later, Kong kong turned to me and asked, "Tanya...was there any wine in this?"

I was shocked, I looked around at my sisters and husband for help. Didn't he know? Didn't Mom tell him? We all just stared wide-eyed at each other. I turned back to Kong kong, "Ummmm...I think it had just a little bit of alcohol, Kong kong," I said apologetically.

And then Kong kong did something that I will never forget. I'll let you watch.

He was so cute and funny and so hammered!

Frank started freaking out, because my Mom was due back any minute with her brother, Kong kong's son. He was sure we were all going to get yelled at. I told him not to worry, but the more he worried, the more I got nervous. Oh damn! We were going to be in so much trouble. Mom was going to kill us. Uncle Ron, someone we see maybe once every 10 years, is going to be horrified. Then Joel, Rachel's husband stated getting all worried, because he was the one making the drinks. Ruth-less (that's my Mom's nickname) was going to murder us! It wasn't fair! Mom was the one that actually gave him the drink. Entrapment!!!!

In the end, it was all anti-climatic. My Mom walked in, I hurried to explain the situation, and all she said was, "Good."

She was actually really happy to see Kong kong a little tipsy. He was laughing and talking with everyone. He even got up and danced! I'm not even kidding.

Kong kong was giving dance pointers!

I debated on whether or not to post these videos of Kong kong, but this is how I want to remember him. He was so fantastic that weekend. We were all worried about him and to see him that way made our hearts glow.

We don't need to worry about Kong kong. He is still the epitome of class, but he honoured us with a little bit of his humour that night. Also, I now know for a fact that Kong kong also gets the "Asian Flush" just like me!

Mama can rest in peace knowing that Kong kong is doing just fine.