Sunday, November 8, 2009

He makes nuclear weaponry look good...


Quick! Name this Dictator....

Ignore the fact that his glasses don't really contain lenses and his nuclear missile is a little crooked.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Yes!!! Its Kim Jong Il of NORTH Korea.

Here is another picture of him, from a few years ago.

I think, along with his nuclear technology, he also had his wily scientists working on an anti-aging potion that seems to be working very well...look...

He looks about 40 years younger. Amazing!!!

Ok, ok, I confess, this isn't actually a crazy NORTH Korean dictator...this is my little brother, Darren, at Halloween. But the similarity is uncanny, isn't it?

Ok, here's another quiz question...

Who is this nasty, creepy man? Mackendra named him, "Kid Killer". And I think it was pretty appropriate.

Here's another look...


Don't mind his "Fairy Dog". Kid Killer was one mean looking, scare-inducing nightmare of a monster. His mission the whole night was to scare kids into giving him their candy. The only problem is that noone got close enough to him so he could ask/scare it out of them. Kid Killer would stand on one side of the street and kids would cross the street to avoid him. He made a group of young girls scream hysterically and run away. That was almost as good as getting candy, but he failed in his mission.

Don't be jealous, but Kid Killer is taken. He's all mine. Once you get to know him, Kid Killer ain't that scary.

Ok, here's another one...

Who is this sad, sick looking child? Awwwww...she looks so sick. What is she doing out of the hospital??? Is it the swine flu?

Ohhhhhhh! Ok, maybe she's not sick...my goodness! What happened to your face, girl? Who did this to you?

Kim Jong Il, you say! Why that low down, nuclear warhead loving, squinty-eyed dictator. Yet another reason for the US to invade and ....what do you mean...the US doesn't care about WMD's? What about Iraq? But...I don't get it.

Anyways, why would Kim Jong Il do that to this sweet innocent child? And...

Oh! Uhhhhh...someone should tell her that her bum is hanging out. Awkward!

Ha ha...that is our lovely Auria. Can you imagine the response as she walked away from her table while at work in Earl's Halloween night.

Finally, can you name this unlikely couple?

Uh huh! It's a Tiny Geisha and KISS's half-sister that Gene Simmons never talked about! Congratulations!!! You win....ummm...well...I don't really have a prize. But, "Yah, you!"

Happy Halloween from our family to yours!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'll give her everything she wants!

Mac: I'm missing Aislinn so so much!

Mom: Yah? You've been thinking about her alot?

Mac: Uh huh. I dream about her all the time.

Mom: Really?! Does that mean you'll be nice to her when she gets back?

Mac: Yah! I'll give her everything she wants!....Then she has to give it back.

Monday, October 26, 2009

She's an amphibian...

Mac: You know...my teacher is an amphibian.

Auntie Auria: She's what?

Mac: An amphibian, she doesn't eat food with feet.

Auntie Auria (thinking...): ...Oh! Sweetie, I think you mean she's....

Mom (grabbing Auntie Auria): Really?!? That is cool.

Mac: Yup!

***************

Mom (in an aside, explaining to Auntie Auria): That is just too cute to correct.

Auntie Auria (turning to Mac): You know...my little brother is an amphibian too.

The End.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

My little China doll...


Mackendra had a Halloween party today. Oh my goodness, be still my beating' heart...she made a truly precious China doll. It took the talent of the beautiful Auria and myself to transform Mac-doodle into this Asian spectacle...


She was the hit of the party! We picked up the dress and sash at Value village for a pittance and with a little face paint, black hair spray, fake hair, and safety pins...viola....Moo shoo guy pan anyone???


And check out her little friends...


I love Halloween!

And can I say that Mac-a-roni totally rocks the black hair!

Until later....

Monday, October 12, 2009

Oh The Turkey!!! The Turkey!!!


Sorry...

That's borderline pornographic.

All I can say is that I did not enjoy this encounter. I was the victim here! It might look like I was the the instigator and the turkey was being molested, but truly, he had it coming! Asked for it in fact.


That turkey likes to pretend that he was all innocent and that I was the bad guy. But look at my face! Ewwwwwwwwww! I might be shoving my entire hand inside that bird, but I took no pleasure from it.

On the other hand....


OMG! That child should be removed from that situation.


And Auria! Auria! Contributing to the delinquency of a minor!

However, the final outcome was fan-freakin-tastic!!!! I can't promise that no poultry was harmed in the creation of this masterpiece, but it was totally worth it.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! And just the right temperature!

Mind you, we were not sure if this was possible this year. It was quite an inauspicious beginning...

Once upon a time, on the day before Thanksgiving dinner, two fair maidens went bravely to Stupidstore on a quest to find the perfect Turkey. After much consideration and contemplation, and discussion on the merits of "fresh" vs. "frozen" they bore home, on their shoulders, the chosen one! Due to the tough economic times, the cheaper, frozen choice prevailed. And here comes the near tragedy....one fair maiden doth asked the other...."Fair Auria, how longeth shall it taketh thine poultry to thaweth?" to this, the fair maiden doth replied, "Fair Tanya, it sayeth, on the backeth of yon package....5-6 hours, 'tis all." And with that, the fair maidens proceeded to prance and clap their hands and turn cartwheels and giggle with glee! Only 5-6 hours! "Wheeeeeeeee!" So, The Chosen one was stored in a place of honour in the sacred refridgerator. And the fair maidens retired for the night and slept the sleep of innocents, secure in the knowledge that the next day's plans were set.

The next morning, whence the fair maiden, Tanya, doth opened thine sacred refridgerator to see how the thaweth-ing had gone...."AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! Fair Auria!!!! Cometh and see-eth the birdeth...its....its...its still frozen-eth!!!!" *Cue hysterics and much hair pulling and wringing of hands* And now the evil is revealeth! "You ninnies! I knew it would still be frozen. Bwahahahahaha!!!" It was the the handsome, yet diabolical Count von Konig. With the tortured eyes of the two fair, yet distraught and disbelieving maidens on him, the malevolent Count von Konig revealeth his nefarious mistruths, "5-6 hours in a refridgerator didn't make sense to me. Are you sure that you were looking at the right column? Maybe you mixed up the thawing and the cooking times?" The fair maidens flipped that poor, icebound bird over and looked again. "AAAARRRGGGHHHH! You are evil Count von Konig! You knew all along!" And the tragedy of this story was shown...the fair Auria does not speaketh French, noone can blame her! We cannot find fault....the label read "Days/Jours" and she readeth "Hours". Jours....Hours....one can seeth how such an error could be made.



So, quick calculations ensued, rapid decisions were made and the arctic turkey took a bath.


A 3 hour bath in lukewarm water, followed by a brisk frolic "au naturel" in the sink of cold water...


*Gag...ewwww...I just threw up in my mouth a little*

And the day was saved and even the nefarious Count von Konig had to agree, the fair maidens had prevailed.


And the court rejoiced! Yahhhhh!!!! Woot! Woot!


And then they proceed to eat their faces off!



And then the Princess of the Universe declared...."now let's eat dessert!!!"


How did your Thanksgiving go? Did Fair Maidens or Evil Counts rule the day?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Love this picture...


This is my husband. He is truly an awesome Dad. He would do just about anything for his girls. I'm happy to say that he considers me one of his girls.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

my oh my, its been a while hasn't it?

My dear friends and family,

I know it has been a while...okay...a long while, since I have posted anything. And don't get too excited because it has been a long, long day and I'm running on empty. But I decided to load some scrapbook pages I haven't shared with anyone. I will keep this short and sweet and try to make some pithy comments about each picture (if my brain doesn't fizzle out first that is).



I cheated and used a quick page for this one, so don't go thinking that I'm so creative and I have a ton of time on my hands. I didn't even take the pictures on this one. They were taken by the lovely and talented Auria. Hi Auria....love your work.

I can't remember if I posted this picture yet. This was my posse, back when I was in college. Long time ago. At least it seems like it to me. I totally miss these guys and wish they would drop a sista an email once in a while.


This one is one of my pictures. Ahhhh....viva la France! Someday I shall go back and sample your very expensive espressos and gorge on your Chocolat de pain again. Okay, my mouth just started watering. Mmmmmmmmm......

A couple more....


Just a picture I've been fooling around with, trying different things in Photoshop. It was taken several years ago on a trip to San Fran.


This last picture gets me really excited. Today, as I carpooled into work, there was snow on the very top of the mountains above Vancouver! I can't wait to go skiing again this year.

And....that's it folks. I'm done. I can barely keep my eyes open.

Love Tanya g'night