House Rules ( It's Hard Being a Kid)

Hi everyone. You have to thank my sister, Ting for getting me into this. Just like her scrapbooking, I find her blog so entertaining and a great way to post pictures, scrapbook layouts, and funny stories. I thought I would give it a whirl. I am a total newbie at this and obviously have a lot to learn, but I plan to do that as I go along. Please be patient and I promise things will get more interesting as I figure out how everything works.

So, on with the blog...

As the title suggests, this entry is about my kids. I wonder when they will learn that this is not a democracy. They do not have any rights, except for those that I give them. And I can take those away when I deem it appropriate. I do not need to explain to them why they have to do what I ask them to do, they just have to do it. I have always said that I parent using the two most efficient tools I have in my arsenal. Threats and bribes. I've read the parenting magazines and read the internet articles and watched Oprah and Dr. Phil, but these tactics seem to work best for our family. No, this is not a democracy, I would call it more of a Benevolent Absolute Monarchy. My husband, Frank and I are co-rulers in this kingdom. Being the Ultimate Ruler is not an easy job either. In fact, I would say it is very difficult and sometimes heartbreaking.

Take for instance last weekend. My wonderfully cute, precocious 5 year old, Mackendra was informed that she had to take a nap on Saturday afternoon before going to her sister's (Aislinn) basketball game. She refused. This is not allowed in our Kingdom. A lesson had to be taught! If we let this insubordination continue, a full-fledged rebellion might ensue and choas in the Kingdom would reign. First we gave Mackendra a second chance to make the correct decision, we told her that she was making a "bad decision" and said that there would be "consequences" to those decisions. (You have to learn our language to live and understand our Kingdom.) Mackendra shrugged her shoulders and said she didn't care and that she wasn't going to take a nap.

Actually, she whined and stomped around as she said this because she was tired and cranky, which precipitated the declaration of "Nap-Time" in the first place. She had made her decision and so we had to react swiftly and decisively. Mackendra was allowed to stay up, but she did not attend the basketball game. She didn't mind this so much. She finds it boring most of the time. She thought she had gotten away with her mini-rebellion. Oh ho! Was she wrong! For some reason, whenever Mackendra called Frank or I, she was not answered. And when it came time for dinner, there was no place set for her at the dinner table. Strange, she thought. She proceeded to go and climb up to get her own plate and utensils, but when she got to the table the food in the serving dishes had been removed. Mackendra, being quite independent slid off her chair and walked to the counter to grab the serving dishes, but wait! Why was Dad (read Absolute Ruler) taking the dishes away so she couldn't get them? Horror descended upon Mackendra seeing Dad placing the dishes on top of the fridge. "Whaaaaaat!?! I'm hungry! You guys are bad! I don't like you, Dad, and Mom and Aislinn!" (I don't know why Aislinn was included her, except for the fact that Aislinn was sitting at the table blithely eating the same food Mackendra was just now realizing she wasn't going to get.) Frank sat back down and the three of us continued to eat making remarks like "Mmmmmmm....this is really yummy. Can I have some more? Wow! This is so good Mom, thanks for dinner." Mackendra sat on the couch, trying to ignore us, occasionally giving us dirty looks. I think that night Mackendra had to settle for Halloween candy for dinner.

Noone talked to Mackendra the rest of the night. Aislinn was sent to bed and tucked in with a hug and a kiss. Mackendra was allowed to stay up. I'm sure she thought this was cool. She wasn't allowed to watch any TV or play on the computer, but she wasn't shuttled off to bed with her sister. She was shoved away when she came to cuddle on the couch with Mom and Dad, but still, she didn't mind that much. Suddenly, Mom and Dad got up to get ready for bed and all the lights were being shut off. Mackendra tried her parent's door, but it was locked and there was not answer to her entreaties. Wait a minute! Whose going to tuck me in? The crying started. "Aislinn, can I sleep with you?" Mackendra wailed. Her answer, "No! Go away." Good job, Aislinn.
After half an hour Frank went out to the kitchen, picked Mackendra up off the floor where she was sleeping beside, Tuck (the dog and only other lowly serf in our kingdom with absolutely no rights at all) and moved her to her bed.

Frank and I talked, I was starting to cave. I wanted to cuddle my girl and say how much I loved her. But Frank convinced me that that would have totally undermined what we were working for! Total domination! LOL. No, we just wanted our little girl to learn that the "consequences" of her "bad decision" to not listen to us, meant that she thought she could make better decisions than us, and she could do a better job at looking after herself than we did, and that meant that she could look after herself. That meant, she was "on her own". Mackendra was learning that being "on your own" wasn't very fun. Noone talked to you, you didn't get to play with things that you wanted to, you didn't get tucked in at night, and you were hungry while everyone ate wonderful foods such as crepes and strawberries with whipped cream the next morning. Yup, she was still "on her own" until just before lunch the next day.

It's hard to be a kid. Especially in an Absolute Monarchy. I think she learned her lesson though. I hope she learned her lesson. I hated doing that to her and Frank admitted that it was hard for him too. I just asked Mackendra if she liked being on her own...."No way!" Good answer.